A Day in My Life

I'm not going to sit here and say he was the worst husband and father in the world, because that would be a lie. He took care of us. If we wanted something, we got it. If it was reasonable. I did work also and helped as well, so let's not give him all the credit though. What we had is what I wanted. I chose our house and I decorated it. I chose my Escalade, until someone ran into me.. Another story for another time. I loved the life we had made, minus the not being in love with him part and the history. He loved our daughter like nothing else and would do anything in the world for her. Which is why what has happened in the last year and a half has us all so confused.  I never worried myself with not trusting him. I mean I did in the beginning, but somehow it became a thing I didn't worry about. Was it because I honestly deep down didn't care or because I knew it didn't matter, he would do what he wanted anyway? Who knows?! But I quit worrying. I didn't worry whe...

In the beginning of our marriage we had the normal problems. We got married young and neither with a college degree or a real job. Money was tight, and like you can imagine... I got pregnant. We were both really afraid of how we were going to make it all work. I was extremely sick in the beginning of the pregnancy. When I moved any part of my body, I was nauseous. I had a copper taste in my mouth for months and was only able to make it subside with homemade cinnamon candy that my mom would make me. So a newlywed couple, wife sick all the time, leaves the husband plenty of time to do things he shouldn't. And in my situation, he took full advantage. I wont go into detail, but I will say imagine the worst and it's probably not it.  I didn't find out anything until after our son was born. The company my then husband worked for had a training session in Philadelphia that lasted three weeks. We had started a landscaping company and I was sending out invoices when I found some ema...

 I didn't know at the time, maybe he didn't either, but him getting the motorcycle he always wanted would be the end of our 19 year marriage. The end of the life we had both planned together. The end of our future we had talked about for so many years. He would always say, "when the kids graduate, you are going to leave me." Had I thought about it many times? Yes! Would I have really done it? Who knows! It wasn't the happy marriage we portrayed to everyone. The happy couple on social media had the perfect little family. When honestly, it was years of dark secrets, lies, manipulation, tears, and heartache. There were some good moments and some love sprinkled in there, but I don't remember the last time I actually thought to myself, "I love that man."  I remember telling myself I had no choice. This was normal. No marriage is actually happy. The women I would talk to would always complain about their husbands. So to me, my marriage was normal. It was a...