I'm not going to sit here and say he was the worst husband and father in the world, because that would be a lie. He took care of us. If we wanted something, we got it. If it was reasonable. I did work also and helped as well, so let's not give him all the credit though. What we had is what I wanted. I chose our house and I decorated it. I chose my Escalade, until someone ran into me.. Another story for another time. I loved the life we had made, minus the not being in love with him part and the history. He loved our daughter like nothing else and would do anything in the world for her. Which is why what has happened in the last year and a half has us all so confused.
I never worried myself with not trusting him. I mean I did in the beginning, but somehow it became a thing I didn't worry about. Was it because I honestly deep down didn't care or because I knew it didn't matter, he would do what he wanted anyway? Who knows?! But I quit worrying. I didn't worry when he started going on guy trips for bike week.
The bike thing was never anything I cared about. The Harley life just isn't for me. I don't find the Harley clothes attractive and the Harley men are just not my cup of tea. The little glasses and baseball hat looking helmets just make me laugh. To each their own. Nothing wrong with it, just not my thing. I prefer the lake life. Sun tans and swim suits. I had my boat, he had his bike.
He went on a couple of bike week trips, and I assumed it was just the "guys." I was home doing all the parent things and keeping our world running. Little did I know, the "guys" had "girls." Our neighbor introduced my then husband to this woman, who was at the time married and from our town. I had heard all the rumors from so many people about our neighbor, so this shouldn't have been a surprise. One of the woman's kids and my daughter went to school together. Had classes together. All the things. Not in the same social circle, but knew each other. So as you can imagine the woman and my husband became a thing. This was May of 2023. I didn't find out about it yet... that's a whole story of its own.
He began starting arguments to leave. He asked what I wanted for mother's day and then asked me after the fact when I could pay that off on his credit card. He got mad at me at the lake for being afraid to park the boat on a full dock on mother's day. I got strep throat my last week of school and he got mad I couldn't eat the dinner he made. He told me for father's day all he wanted was to get on his bike with his "friend" and ride to Alabama until they were tired, get a hotel, and then ride back the next day. He chose to spend the weekend of father's day with a married woman instead of his children.
We had our family vacation planned for the week following father's day. He let me know he wanted to ride his bike down instead of riding with the family. I was completely against it, but I had almost given up on the marriage by this point. I'm not a quitter when it comes to my relationships though, so I was still fighting. Why?!? The kids.
He told me that my parents definitely should go so I wouldn't be alone when he went riding. So thoughtful. We went down like we had planned. My parents, myself, our daughter and her friend. He was to come down the next morning on his bike and then my son and his friend were coming towards the end of the week. Thank God for my parents and my daughter is all I can say.
At this point, I had no idea about the other woman. I just knew my then husband was going through something. He would say things like, "Yall are better off with me dead." I was shook to my core by some of his words. Nothing made sense. I didn't understand at the time, because I honestly thought he had changed. But I was wrong... so wrong. He was just making it easier for me to want to leave. He didn't think that instead of leaving that I would turn to prayer.
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